Tag: wellbeing

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Be Extra News

A Year of “Being Extra”

Today we celebrate Be Extra’s 1st birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US! In the past year, we have accomplished so many things and we are so proud of our amazing team of volunteers and our community for helping us at every step on our journey to where we are now. If you have followed us on social media, liked one of our posts, read one of our blogs, watched a YouTube video, tuned-in to a livestream, attended an event, or donated to us, we are extremely grateful, thank you!  Be Extra- Wellbeing For The Arts CIC was created as a result of the mental health pandemic which was evident in the arts and creative industries. Our aim was to bring wellbeing resources to artists and creatives in accessible and easy to understand ways, and we have most definitely achieved this. We have had many conversations with creatives in the past year who have struggled at some point in their life or regularly with their wellbeing and mental health, and all of these individuals and organisations have expressed how thankful and pleased they are that Be Extra exists and that we are here to raise awareness about wellbeing in the industry. Arts organisations should be taking a greater focus on their creatives’ wellbeing, and we have seen improvements with this in many organisations in the past year, but there are still big changes to be made. In the meantime, Be Extra is here to help you, and we will continue to campaign for wellbeing for the arts at all levels, professionally and in community arts networks. The world is in quite a different place to where it was a year ago: many artists and creatives are able to return to their work and hobbies again, in-person or online, but I don’t think any of us can say that in the past year, not one of us has struggled, be that mentally, physically, financially, with our health, or with our art, questioning our creativity at times. The past year has changed us all, and with that, we hope that we have been able to help you, even if you saw just one of our social media posts, we hope you have taken time to think about your wellbeing, and even done something to improve it, or given you the skills and knowledge to help you help someone else. We know that one’s wellbeing cannot be miraculously improved overnight, it can never be fully “fixed”. but with small, regular steps, we can all greatly improve our wellbeing in time. This is why it is still so important for Be Extra to exist, there is always something that we can work on with our wellbeing, and hopefully, we will always be here to offer you some advice.  Our Director of Media, Emma Kennedy, had this to say about our 1st year: “I joined Be Extra as one of the company’s first volunteers (which is very strange to think about looking back) as the only person on the Social Media and Marketing Team. In time, I joined the board of directors and we have taken on more volunteers and the Marketing Team is now filled with talented and wonderful individuals who I get to work with and share creative ideas with every week. I am incredibly proud of every volunteer at Be Extra, dedicating time to our cause, learning new skills and gaining new friendships along the way. I can’t wait for the future of this company and what the next year will bring!  Through being a volunteer at Be Extra, I have not only helped other artists and creatives with their wellbeing, but I have also seen a big improvement in my own. Of course I still have moments when I struggle with mental health, but I have learnt a lot of wellbeing techniques in the past year which I now incorporate into my daily life, and I have also helped friends and family when they have been struggling. So on a personal level, I am extremely thankful that Be Extra exists, as without it, the past year would have been very different for me.” We like to focus our attention on you and your wellbeing, but today, we’d like to celebrate and share some of the things that we have achieved in the past year: Our social media accounts have become a valuable wellbeing resource for many artists and creatives, where we share lots of tips and techniques in simple ways which people can incorporate into their daily lives. Our team of amazing volunteers has grown and we have developed great friendships with each other (despite the fact that we have never met in-person!) Our Wellbeing Live series has given artists, creatives, and wellbeing practitioners a platform to showcase their art and to discuss the importance of looking after our wellbeing.  Our blogs have been read by hundreds of people where our writers discuss arts and wellbeing topics in an honest and heart-felt way, again showing how important it is to pay attention to our wellbeing.  Our Student Wellbeing Sessions have been attended by students from a range of Universities in the UK, where our Wellbeing Coaches have offered valuable advice to students who have really struggled during lockdowns.  Our Wellbeing Wednesdays series brought wellbeing advice from a Psychologist to many people across a wide range of topics from CBD (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), to EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).  We have achieved so much already and we cannot thank all of our volunteers and creative community enough for helping creatives “Be Extra” by taking time to improve their own and others’ wellbeing, bring on our next year! Patrick Hall, PA to the CTO, had this to say about Be Extra: My time volunteering for Be Extra has been phenomenal and I have met some truly amazing people. Lockdown made me feel quite lonely and isolated from other creatives, so it was really great to join such an open and friendly network of artistic people.

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Guest blogs

Writing The Wave: Journaling Through Uncertainty

Anxiety is often considered the result of uncertainty about the future, whilst depression can arise from a bleak outlook on what lies ahead. Though these are simplistic notions of mental health issues, they can be useful starting points in distilling how mental wellbeing is affected by our perception of what’s to come.  During the covid-19 pandemic, our familiar routines and plans for the future have fallen away, leaving nothing but the uncertainty of the present. This has led to an exacerbation of mental health issues, as over half of adults and two-thirds of young people said their mental health got worse during the first lockdown in April and May of 2020*. These issues continue to embed themselves amidst loneliness and uncertainty, as we’re now one year into these long periods of isolation.  One of the main factors which affects our ability to nurture our own wellbeing, is a lack of human contact. As social creatures, we not only want, but need, to speak to a variety of other people in order to organise our thoughts. Now, unable to speak to friends or access therapists as easily, our thoughts become muddled and heightened – including those anxious or upsetting ones. A way in which we can deal with this mental discordance is to organise and communicate through other means, one that doesn’t necessarily involve anyone else, yet allows us a form of social therapy nonetheless: writing. Journaling is one approach to writing for your wellbeing, focussing on the sole purpose of addressing your thoughts and feelings throughout the day. Although it may seem trivial to begin with, writing down your musings or recollections is a useful exercise in discipline and reflection. You can type your ideas, or write by hand, because the benefit stems from making the exercise work for you. Whether you write two lines, or two pages, a day, ensure that you’re getting what you want from your journal. There are endless journal prompts online, on sites such as Pinterest and Tik Tok. You may want to write about your worries, or even what you’re grateful for. You’ll find that putting your feelings down on a page helps allow yourself to let go of the stresses of the day. Not only is journaling ideal for documenting ideas and emotions, but it also allows us to remember what we got up to. This helps separate the days from the weeks that all seem to merge into one another. Journaling can be an important exercise in mindfulness as well as memory.  If quiet meditation isn’t your style, there’s always the option to blog your way through lockdown. Many people have turned to blogging as a way of coping and connecting during isolation. Setting up a blog is really easy, and ideal for reaching out to a select few people, or a wider audience. Whether you want to share what you’ve been cooking, write opinion pieces, short stories, or simply post about your day, there’ll always be readers who are keen to connect. Blogging can be a simple way to find people who are going through the same things as you, to learn from each other and feel less lonely.  Whilst writing about your life may have some appeal, it’s not for everyone. During a pandemic, you probably feel like you’re trapped in Groundhog Day. We’re caught in a loop of waking up, working, eating, working, then perhaps baking a lockdown banana bread – if we’re not all sick of them by now. The joy of writing is that it allows you reflection, but also an escape. If you can’t think of anything worse than writing about your day, then fiction and storytelling is a glorious solution.  Personally, reading has provided me with some much-needed grounding throughout this year, which may sound odd, as books are generally thought of as a way to escape to another world. They serve as my primary source of inspiration for writing. I find reading engaging, as it is an active process, unlike watching TV or scrolling on my phone. The act of reading forces us to build the story world ourselves; therefore challenges the reader to move, mentally, from that spot on the sofa they haven’t left since last March.  Reading is a great exercise in restoring mental wellbeing, whether it’s an indulgent romance, or War and Peace, the point should be that you enjoy it. No one can judge your choices. It’s called reading for pleasure, for a reason. Reading is undoubtedly the best source of inspiration for your own writing, as it can provide you with endless ideas and creative goals. To extend the act of reading, writing your own stories can be rewarding when you’re looking for a new challenge. The beauty of both reading and writing, is that no one needs to know what you choose to read, or produce, if you don’t want to share it. Some people make time to write in the morning, whilst others opt for tapping away on their laptop through the night. Writing provides a way of escaping everyday routine, whilst taking a moment to be present.  Whether you decide to engage in journaling, blogging or writing stories, each way you choose to express yourself and your creativity is equally valid. You have nothing to lose from putting aside half an hour of your day to explore what’s going on in your head, behind the scenes. Regardless of the method that works for you, you’re sure to unveil some of the inner workings of your mind. Often, we’re not even aware of the thoughts that linger on our subconscious, as lockdown has switched us into autopilot.  Whilst it is speculated that anxiety is a fear of the unknown, and depression is a lack of hope about the future, writing allows us to reflect logically on the past, and look to fantastical imaginings of what could be. Through writing, we can find ways to engage with those around us, even when they’re not near; and our

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Guest blogs

Walking in Turbulent Times: Part II

Missed the first installment? Read Walking in Turbulent Times: Part I here… So here we all are, a year into the pandemic, and with the end vaguely insight. We thought now was as good a time as ever to share the experiences of another of our volunteers who has taken to walking in these difficult times. This week we hear from Tash Bowen, one of our Social Media Officers and we hope that in reading her observations and insights, you can perhaps think about your own experiences with walking and where you may hope to venture in the future. Are you an artist, a musician, a writer, or a creative of some sort? Another of our volunteers, Nicole Mawby, has provided us with the following quote from Earling Kagge, a writer, art collector and explorer: ‘Language reflects the idea that life is one single walk; the word “journey” comes from the distance we travel in the course of a day.’ How does walking affect your creativity? What do you hope to achieve from it? We’d love to hear your thoughts! Deep breath in, deep breath out. One foot first, now the other. Repeat.  It’s fair to say that we can all let our emotions run amok from time to time. Personally, I find it most difficult to manage my emotional responses when certain situations are outside of my control. So, in the past couple of years, I have been concentrating on appropriately managing my emotional responses. Walking helps.   Each time I feel overwhelmed, I slip on a sturdy pair of boots and get out. I walk to accept, process, and understand my feelings, regardless of how long it takes. I walk to separate myself from an environment that is potentially physically and mentally confining me. I walk to appreciate the wider world that I often take for granted because I can let trivial circumstances overrun my rationality and disengage me from the matter at hand.  Being a part of a generation that encouraged lots of outdoor play, walking to and from places regularly, and the Saturday-staple family-walk, I have spent a lot of time connecting with my surroundings and realising my place within it. Each place has a deeply rooted and distinct history and culture, which, when recognised, can grant power to the self. The human species, however, is complex and there are parts of ourselves that we will never fully understand, so rather than drown in the intricacies of the self, it serves us better to ground ourselves in the reality of the great outdoors. To build a relationship with our natural environment means building a relationship with ourselves through physical and emotional grounding. This type of connection has been encouraged and strengthened by being born and bred in South Wales. With my home city’s placement between the mountains and the sea, there has always been a plethora of natural spaces for me to belong to and explore.  Residential streets where the distant hills rise up and engulf the houses in a sea of green, where the waves are made from other little houses and streetlights are dotted about like sea foam. Woodlands where the trees whisper to each other when gentle gales blow or they rumble in blustery winds, summoning stories from deep within their roots. Mountains silent in their watch over us, standing resolutely against the elements; shaping our skyline, carving the sunlight into separate segments, and casting it out across the valley floor. Fields where the grass and the flowers dance together, intertwining their bodies to create fluid movements that sway and flutter, caressing the legs of those who amble through. Beaches where the sand glides and swirls in a mist over its bed, pulling back the covers on shells and creatures that lie sleeping beneath. The sea can soar towards the sky as if reaching for the rain to be brought back home. It tumbles over itself, yearning, longing for the company as it crawls up the shore, crashing, shouting for people to step in. This place hugs you. It feels like standing on an open pop-up book, looking up to the crisp-paper layers that lie one after another. The roll of the hills is reflected in the motion of the sea and their presence serves as a reminder that emotional ups and downs are a part of life.   These fluctuations are inevitable – and the ability to accept that is imperative in managing your wellbeing. As a species, we are not easily contented with our lot, and with the dramatic rise in social media over the past couple of decades, the daily bombardment of how to be our best selves is relentless. Industry advertisements, movies, and TV shows, and pop-cultural figures all contribute to the already dictatorial dichotomy of what is good and bad in today’s society. So, distancing yourself from the ingrained, self-critical nature of the human mind is harder than ever before. One way to achieve this emotional distancing is through walking. Let the outside world absorb you in its setting, and as you focus on what is physically nearest to you, the most distant concepts of competition and morality can be let go. By grounding yourself in your environment you can regain power and reconnect with yourself as a part of something greater –as a part of the world. The relationship that you can build with reality in this way will bring calmness, focus, and the ability to alter what can be altered. Do not sit and hope for things outside of your control to change, instead accept what is within your power and change that – you can get outside and enjoy your space. Enjoy the finer connections that hold you here and fully appreciate them for what they are. Reality is multi-faceted, complex, sometimes stressful but always fascinating. So, resist the urge to get lost in your emotions, and get lost in your surroundings instead. Walking will help you to fully recognise your emotions, value them and hopefully,

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Guest blogs

Walking in Turbulent Times

Walking in nature’s equilibrium has been a source of inspiration and reflection for many artists. In Persuasion, Jane Austen writes of the heroine: ‘Her pleasure in the walk must arise from the exercise and the day, from the view of the last smiles of the year upon the tawny leaves and withered hedge’. The pandemic has provided many of us the opportunity to explore the outdoors as we look to find calm. Being deprived of other means of inspiration, we look to what our leisurely strolls can give us. Some of our volunteers have taken the time to write about their experiences with walking and what taking to the outdoors has done for them in the past year. __________________________________________________ Patrick Hall – PA to the CTO For me, walking is much more than just exercise: it’s a chance to clear my mind of negative thoughts and relieve stress. I spent the first lockdown in Oxford. I was having a difficult time adjusting to working from home and then being furloughed. It was great to discover new places that I’d never seen before and revive old memories in a much quieter environment than that which the city used to resemble. Of course, being near people could be daunting with a new virus on the loose, but I began to love seeing other people enjoy the sunny weather and appreciate the space. I remember one walker by the river telling us all that we’d get through this and that is certainly a memory that will stick with me for some time. I returned to Cornwall, where I’m from, after the first lockdown, and walking has been a very different experience. I live in the middle of nowhere, where there are mostly just fields and desolate beaches. Despite missing the beautiful architecture and historic feel of Oxford, I have loved finding peace in the outdoors. The paths I have been taking are already very familiar to me, but it’s fantastic to experience them at different times of the day and enjoy the distinct lack of traffic. A venture in the frosty weather before work or a relaxing Sunday stroll can make a massive difference to the rest of my day.  Katie-Jayne James – Marketing Officer My favourite place to walk is down a popular trail along the River Taff and lucky for me, it’s so close to where I live. This walk offers so much; you have the river to walk along, bridges, wildlife, stunning wood carvings, vast fields, cafés, the sound of instruments and voices coming from the Royal Welsh College of Music & Drama, Cardiff Castle and that’s only naming a few! When lockdown eased, I was able to go back to my home in The Forest of Dean for a few days where I went on a few socially distanced walks with family and friends. Of course, these walks were all very familiar to me but, the experience was completely different. I had taken the beautiful scenery of my home for granted whilst growing up and now, I love going back there. Alexandra Deterte – PA to Director of Media  I consider myself to be very lucky. I am surrounded by parks and commons. The pictures below were taken up behind our flat at the Putney and Wimbledon Common. Such a beautiful place. One of the only places I have found in London where you can escape the traffic and see almost no people. It’s our little escape. Reminds me of home, being able to go for a walk amongst the trees and seeing just a small handful of people, often walking very muddy dogs.  Nicole Mawby – Marketing Officer “Placing one foot in front of the other, embarking on the journey of discovery, and experiencing the joy of exploration–these activities are intrinsic to our nature. Our ancestors traveled long distances on foot, gaining new experiences and learning from them. But as universal as walking is, each of us will experience it differently.”   — Earling Kagge I’ve always been one of those people that take photos of everything. Dappled light on exquisite architecture, vast seascapes at sunrise, and pretty much anything at golden hour. I like to keep a record of what I’m doing and who I’m with. When my walks became limited to where I could reach from my doorstep, these photos started to become less exciting: restricted to fluffy clouds, sheep in fields, and crumbling castles.  I decided to challenge myself to look more imaginatively at my immediate surroundings, to be curious and inquisitive. Looking with fresh eyes has helped me to look more slowly, become more mindful, and appreciate the finer details, which has influenced all aspects of my life. I have created some photo bingo cards to help you to look with new eyes. I’d love to see your results: Chloe Lunn – Marketing Officer I had a lecture back in October of 2019 where we discussed walking, and what it means to walk, looking at Kagge’s work, and understanding his words through our experiences. We were set a task of giving ourselves a question about our uni work, then going on a walk with this question in mind and recording our findings when we got home. Through this walk, I discovered how moving gave me so much mental space to think and process things. When I lived in Bristol I would walk almost every day with friends to see the views of the city, but this task made me realise how I’d left that enjoyment in one city and not carried it back home with me. Since lockdown hit, I have been carrying these thoughts and ideas about walking with me, rediscovering streets, fields, and parks I used to walk and play in as a child. There’s something nostalgic yet fresh about my walks now. I’m seeing places I used to know well through a new lens. I think having to stay in one area for a long time makes you start to look

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Guest blogs

Five Ways to Wellbeing

The Five Ways to Wellbeing are a set of evidence-based messages which were developed by the New Economics Foundation more than 10 years ago. These messages were designed to improve the mental health and wellbeing of each and every one of us. A decade later, these feel more pertinent than ever. We have put together some tips for each message, to help you, as a creative: ConnectConnect with the people around you. With your family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. At home, work, school or in your local community. Think of these as the cornerstones of your life and invest time in developing them. Building and nurturing these connections will support and enrich you every day. Now, connecting these days feels tied to screens (which I’m sure we can all admit is less than ideal) so, here are some alternatives to connect with loved ones near and far. Do an activity over Zoom rather than Zoom being the activity itself – this could be doing an art class together, cooking, or watching a film – you could take it in turns to host, find recipes, or choose the film. Design and send a postcard from home Walk and talk. Take a friend on your daily walk. Talk about what you can see and paint a picture of your local areas for each other. Be activeGo for a walk or run. Step outside. Cycle. Play a game. Have a stretch. Garden. Dance. Exercising makes you feel good. Most importantly, discover a physical activity you enjoy and that suits your level of mobility and fitness. Try yoga. There are hundreds of free classes online. We love Fable Yoga on YT and Vanessa Abreu on IG. Go on a brisk walk around the block Make running fun. Try Strava or Couch to 5k to help with motivation. Dance like no one’s watching! Have a quick shimmy while waiting for the kettle to boil or while the adverts are on. Take noticeCatch sight of the beautiful. Remark on the unusual. Notice the changing seasons. Savour the moment, whether you are eating lunch or talking to friends. Be aware of the world around you and what you are feeling. Reflecting on your experiences will help you appreciate what matters to you. We’ve put together a series of photo bingos! Take photos during your daily walk to try looking at your everyday with fresh eyes. Have you seen A View From My Window? It’s a beautiful collection of views from across the world. Why not set up a mini group with your friends and share your own views? Noticing can also be internal: be curious about how you’re feeling – what are you doing when you feel your best? Do more of it. Keep learningTry something new. Rediscover an old interest. Sign up for that course. Fix a bike. Learn to play an instrument or how to cook your favourite food. Set a challenge you will enjoy achieving. Our website contains a whole wealth of resources from scientists and creatives that aim to inform, educate and inspire including resources from Wellbeing Wednesdays, our free weekly online wellbeing events. Our archive of Wellbeing Live events can be found on our Facebook. We invite creatives to host a short session on their practice, we’ve had singers, artists and therapists – there’s something for everyone. London Drawing Group are a feminist trio with some a whole host of pay-what-you-can classes and webinars on art. Sign up to edX, FutureLearn, SkillShare, LinkedIn for free courses on pretty much anything. …And keep your eyes peeled for future courses from us! 😉 GiveDo something nice for a friend, or a stranger. Thank someone. Smile. Volunteer your time. Join a community group. Look out, as well as in. Seeing yourself, and your happiness, linked to the wider community can be incredibly rewarding and creates connections with the people around you. Why not gather up a pile of old drawings, postcards or receipts you might have piling up, and set up an art material exchange with your friends for them to create new artwork with? This could become a collaborative sketchbook lockdown. Once you’ve created a piece of art, why not swap it again? Cailleach Collective are facilitating a postal art exchange! All mediums are welcome. Volunteer with us! We’re always looking for volunteers to join the team – slide into our DMs or email us to find out more. Do you have a friend who’s always wanted to be an artist? Can you teach some of your skills? We can guarantee you’d both get a lot out of it. Remember If you’re working from home, try to separate your ‘work’ space from your ‘life’ space as much as possible. Give yourself regular breaks If you’re struggling with procrastination, give yourself 5-minute focus targets (Creative Lives in Progress talks more about this). This could be a great time to get your priorities in check. If you aren’t feeling up to something, it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to put yourself first. It’s okay to find some days difficult. If you need extra support You can find 24/7 support which is both free and confidential from the Samaritans on 116 123. Mind offer guidance and supportive resources through their website. Blurt is a social enterprise dedicated to those affected by depression (they also have heaps of feel-good content). Time to Change is a social movement working to change the way we all think and act about mental health problems.

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Be Extra News

Studio Spaces: Welcome to our creative spaces series

Our spaces expose ourselves. How we think, how we feel and how we act are all laid bare in the way we choose to manipulate our surroundings. Whether those are studios, halls or bedrooms, the most intricate details of how we identify ourselves are unmasked in the finer characteristics of our chosen environment. The team at Be Extra knows and understands how creative spaces are safe spaces: they are places that we can retreat to when we feel most vulnerable or inspired. As a species we are drawn to the idea of home, no longer a mere habitat, it is an autonomous setting where we create deeper relationships with our authentic selves. We nurture and curate our spaces to act as canvases on which we can express our artistic and emotional self.  The creation of meaningful relationships between the self and environment is executed through the physical exhibition of our interests and emotions, the absence of external stigmas, and the inclusion of sensory experiences. All of which are deliberately cultivated to evoke positive responses: the playlist, the lighting, the aroma, the refreshments, and the tactile experience collaborate to build an energy that best represents the individual.  It’s also important to note that creative spaces create a sense of community. While our togetherness in these spaces has been hindered over the past year, it has been sorely missed. Our ability to connect with others who share our interests enables our sense of belonging and value within a wider sphere. These areas often help to ensure inclusivity through similar experiences and values despite our different backgrounds. Such spaces help to reduce loneliness and create relationships free from personal criticism that the arts industry can often be subjected to. These can include art classes, exhibition spaces, cinemas, theatres, churches, writers’ rooms – the list is endless and hopefully, in time, we can return to our favourite places and revel in the passions that bind us. Our new project delves into the creative spaces that make our artists feel at home. Each episode is a personal studio tour, hosted by different artists, to explore the connection between art and environment. We want to divulge just how integral our spaces are to helping our wellbeing and encouraging creativity across the Be Extra community.  Our first episode is with Mel Jordan, a haptic artist who uses thread-based crafts at the core of her work, and has a maternal POV. Mel walks us around her studio, which she currently shares with her son, and talks us through her experiences with art and how she utilises her creative space. You can subscribe to our videos via the Be Extra YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5wpRHXfIHqUs3s0bPgfFTQ and you can find Mel’s work below. Don’t forget to like and share, and if you’re interested in walking us round your space – get in touch via our email or socials! Natasha, Nicole, and Rachel x Website: https://www.artymel.co.uk/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meljordan6936/

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Guest blogs

Relationships and their impact on your wellbeing

By Alexandra Deterte Everyone needs friends, no matter your age. They are your safety net and support bubble when things aren’t going your way. They are your counsellor and shrink. They are your partner-in-crime, your sidekick, your secret-keepers, your bodyguards and your family. And to me, they are everything.  Recently, I went through a rather stressful and upsetting two years. In 2018, my husband was offered a job in London. We were in Wellington, New Zealand, and decided to jump on the amazing opportunity, so we started planning. The move was set for mid-March but on March 4th we received my rejected visa application, after which, we decided to apply again: paying the fees and once again beginning the three month wait. At the time that was OK. We thought we could do three months with lots of FaceTime and messages. It would be fine. June came and went and so did another rejection letter. We figured something was wrong and we contacted a lawyer for help, which is when we were told we would not be able to reapply until my husband had worked in the UK for a full financial year. The next fifteen months would end up being the hardest few months we have ever experienced. Lots of people know how hard and draining it can be to keep up appearances. On multiple occasions I was fighting back tears, fighting the urge to scream and give up hope but I knew that I couldn’t do that. I have two younger brothers and I like to think they look up to me as the positive, calm and annoyingly-like-mum, older sister. I wanted to follow my parents’ example. My parents have been in a similar situation for almost seven years and they never complain about being apart. Their work only allows them to see each other a couple of times a year; they never seem to be upset, or at least they don’t show it to anyone, but I did not have the same experience. On the inside I was falling, and falling fast.  Then Covid-19 presented itself and changed our plans again. At least this time we were able to think about how it was outside of our control. All we could do was wait. He was so far away and I was having to sort out our third and final application attempt on my own (and with the help of our immigration lawyer of course). Yet, it was the help of two very important people in my life that helped me the most. They were there for me 24/7. They lived a forty minute drive away but that didn’t matter to them – they still showed up on my doorstep every Friday for dinner since my husband left. There were days when I didn’t feel like talking and they understood that, sometimes,  just being there was enough. My friends, who I would like to refer to as L and D, were there for me through all the stressful correspondence from the lawyer and the accountant, through all the relationship doubt and worry and through all the times I couldn’t be bothered dealing with the visa anymore. They would be there to pick me up and to get me back on track. I have known L since the beginning of high school and we have been there for each other through high school drama and now real adult problems. We are grown up, but we grew up together.  L and D had a baby boy just before my husband moved away and I threw myself at that little kid. Baby T was my smiley, cheeky and sweet little man who was always happy to see me and would always make me smile. Having such a strong connection with these three very important people, meant I was able to positively focus my energy and time on them. I could be creative again and decided to bring out some of the skills I haven’t used for quite a few years and learn some new ones too. I was able to start my sand painting and quilt making again. I attempted to make “fancy” cakes for their birthdays and while  they didn’t always work out, I used Baby T as my reason to be creative; it helped me focus and relax. Knowing I was making something for him would allow me a moment to escape and be excited – it allowed me to create time for myself. Although Baby T was too young to know what I was doing, it still helped me focus on the small things and the people around me, which I could easily have lost sight of. Although being apart from my husband was very upsetting and stressful, the time that my friends dedicated to me, encouraged me to focus on time for myself. I was able to complete my studies, start a new job, and learn new skills. I formed new friendships and  built on my closest ones. I was able to spend an amazing amount of time with my family, visit my youngest brother at his Uni and giggle with my second brother even more. My family is great. All the caring questions about how my husband was and how work was going (even though I rarely knew the answer myself but would always say “great”) was very considerate and supportive but there’s something a little special about having an extra bubble of support.  The relationships I have with my family and best friends are very similar. They’re fun, supportive, challenging at times, but they’re always there. The only difference would be that I can speak to L and D about everything and anything. We went through High School together so there’s a lot she knows. I tell my mum pretty much everything already which I’m pretty sure she tells my Dad so it’s a two-birds-one-stone situation but there are times when I just need a truthful and honest opinion or a rant which

Coping strategies for students in lockdown (Warwick)

Zoom talk on coping strategies to use during lockdown. Led by the wonderful Bethany Garner (BSc, MPsycholsci, MBPsS), who hosted our first online wellbeing series, Wellbeing Live (Winter 2020). FREE ADMISSION. Sign up here. For current or former students of the University of Warwick.

[CANCELLED] Resilience through COVID

In collaboration with Whitaker Training “This short course is excellent for those who want to learn more about how they are affected by stress & anxiety, and how to stay resilient throughout COVID-19 and beyond. It is also extremely beneficial for anyone who has to look after others during these times.” To celebrate this collaboration, this session will be 50% off! Tickets are £7.50 for a 90 minute workshop.

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Better sleep in lockdown

BETTER SLEEP IN LOCKDOWN – WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, START SLEEPING – WORK HARD SLEEP HARD By David Cato The worst thing about the current pandemic is also the best thing about it – we’re all going through it. Across the world, online, in the papers, and on social media, the economic and social effects of our current situation are impossible to avoid. Not a second goes by without someone reading a news story, watching a documentary, or hearing someone’s recent experience and going, “holy crap, me too!” None of us are alone in this, even if we sometimes feel that way, and that’s why we can share in detail our own journeys, like my struggles with sleep, energy, health, and time management; I know that at least some of you out there will read these words and think to yourselves, “yep. Me too. I can relate.” I’ll admit it. I’ve always taken sleep for granted. Never really bothered to think that much about it. Ironically, during my time at university, lectures about sleep by a certain lecturer (who will remain unnamed) were a favourite nap time for many students. Curious. But it’s so easy anyway right? I’ve been doing it for decades. I spend over 30% of my time alive doing it, more than enough to qualify me as an expert in any other task or activity. It took me a long time to fully recognise the impact poor sleep was having on me. It took a global pandemic. The lethargy, the mind fog, the lack of any real drive to move, to act, to do things. I’d just adjusted to feeling this way over time and accepted these things as a sort of “new norm”. And it’s not like I can plead the excuse of ignorance here, after all, throughout my highs and lows and various mental health challenges over the years, I’d gained a general understanding of good sleep as an important contributor to a properly functioning mind, and good overall health. But knowing isn’t enough, implementation is key. I’ve heard the lesson a million times, we all have. Teachers, parents, pop-sci articles; all saying “Sleep is important. Have an early night.” Yet somehow, somehow, I still had to wake up from a few consecutive nights of good sleep, look back at my previous week’s self, and think “wow. What a difference!” for the lesson to fully sink in this time. Once I’d relearned how to force myself to bed on time, placed the phone out of reach and had a few good nights’ worth of sleep, it’s like my eyes were fully opened and my higher executive functions were accessible to me once again. Suddenly I’m planning, problem solving, remembering list items, acting decisively and with purpose. Over the previous few months, I’d almost forgotten what it was like to have energy. Mobilising myself to get up at a reasonable hour to do the very basics; hygiene and grooming, cooking, cleaning, shopping, tidying, is so much harder when I’m not (physically, as well as mentally) running at 100% capacity. The lesson here? We all have to recharge each night, properly, in order to perform (at a base level) for a full day. And all of those things, each small in it’s own way, collectively join to form the backbone of my basic daily life. With a clean eating space, a full fridge, and an organised and uncluttered living space (contributing to an equally uncluttered mind, I’ve found), the next tier of responsibilities and requirements are suddenly achievable! They no longer appear as the daunting, insurmountable cluster of mind-numbing tasks that I’d been so desperate to avoid. Maintaining relationships with loved ones (scheduling regular phone calls mostly), socialising with friends (digitally, of course), exercising and stretching my body, and paying attention to my diet and nutrition, all become so obvious to me. It’s as though once you have the underlying things sorted out, the next series of important tasks that rely on them are suddenly right in front of you, like the obvious next step to take. It’s extremely difficult to go from doing none of these things well to all of them in one go, but, taking things one step, one day, one task at a time, it all becomes possible. Progress, not perfection. And then, with all these aspects of ordinary life being worked on and maintained as a matter of daily or weekly routine, I find I have the mental bandwidth to take on new tasks too. I can seek employment, develop and maintain a professional image, cultivate a (limited) online presence. I realise I have the additional mental resources available to learn new skills, balance a workload, even withstand the soul crushing black hole of constant rejection that job hunting has become, and balance a positive hobby or two, like drawing sunflowers. Badly (I’m working on it). Essentially, a key discovery for me has been that, sleep is the primary foundation upon which all higher functions and abilities must be supported. No one has everything handled perfectly, and there’s only so much we can do to improve at any one time. But if you feel like you aren’t quite firing on all cylinders lately, haven’t got access to the full suite of mental and physical abilities you usually have at your disposal, or feel low in energy and mood without any more obvious causes, I can’t recommend pushing your sleep a few notches higher on your list of priorities enough. It’s been a game changer for me. Multiple times. Hopefully it’ll stick this time.  This blog was written by the wonderful David Cato. A graduate in Psychology and Criminiology, David is a huge advocate for mental health awareness. David is also one of our fabulous Outreach & Development volunteers. Read more about David in our second Meet the Team blog.